Life as I see it now
by zico1994
Summary: Set after the Marineford battle. Luffy comes to terms with life and everything that's associated with it. And he does not like it. #updated!# #chapter 4 up!#
1. Acquiesce

_This is an unplanned story. And an experiment. Thing is, I intended to write something without the faintest outline of what I'm going to write in my mind. And I wanna see if by making up stuff as I go along, I can actually produce a good work of fiction. I am dead honest. And I'd appreciate if you reviewed and told me how it is since this is my first One Piece fiction. Enjoy :)_

* * *

''My name is Monkey D. Luffy. I'm going to be the pirate king. And I am an idiot.'' Luffy stopped writing and closed his diary.

He wasn't a person to write much, taking into account the fact that he didn't even like to think much. He was a person of action. And mind you, not the type to think and then act. He was all about pure, going-with-the-flow action. But things had changed in the past two years. He had lived his life without any kind of worry whatsoever for 17 whole years. And then Ace died.

Training with Rayleigh for two years, he had a lot of time to himself. To actually think. Think about life; think about how it isn't fair at times. Think about his priorities. Think about what is important and what isn't. He had to become strong for his nakama because he knew his nakama were trying hard to become strong for him.

Ace was a huge part of his life. A part he thought he could never lose. With each punch he thought about him. Each kick bought back memories of a happy childhood spent together. Two boys, with the same dream. To become the man with the most freedom in the seas. And what happened to that part of his life? He died.

Each time he thought about Ace while training, he let out a roar. A roar that frightened animals ten times as big as an elephant. A roar that literally made mountains crumble. But it wasn't a roar. It was a cry. A cry that escaped each time he regretted not being stronger for Ace. Ace's last words still rung in Luffy's ears, 'I'm sorry I couldn't let you save me properly little bro,' as he collapsed onto Luffy's arms.

The first 6 months were spent like this. Training in agony, wanting to get stronger than anything he could possibly imagine. Once emotions settled, Luffy changed from the inside. He thought about various things. About his journey ahead. About how he was being trained by the first mate of the pirate king's crew himself! About his promise to Shanks. About his treasured straw-hat. About how Nami fixed it for him when he first brawled with Buggy. About Nami.

Being the happy-go-lucky idiot he was, he never really paid any attention to her before. He regarded her as one of his nakamas and the best navigator for his ship. But the days passed by and he found himself missing her. 'Well, that's strange,' he thought to himself. He trained, until he perfected many new moves, including the hakis.

Two years passed by, and just like that, it was time for Luffy to return and rejoin his crew. More matured now, he even wandered why he liked Nami more than Hancock, who was a hundred times more beautiful than her and who was head-over-heels crazy about Luffy. Shrugging off those thoughts, he set off to Shabondy Archipelago.

The reunion had been fantastic. Even Usopp had become mighty strong! Luffy was happy that his dream of becoming the pirate king was finally underway and that he was going to sail on the seas in which Shanks held an important position. Helped by Rayleigh, the Straw-hats found a shortcut to get into the new world. Luffy was disappointed that he didn't get to visit fishman island and made his disappointment very clear along with Sanji who was even sadder for he didn't get to see the mermaids. Luffy decided to keep up with his idiotic happy-go-lucky nature and personality for the sake of his nakama. They had sailed half of Grand Line and had overcome every obstacle and Luffy wanted that to continue in the New World.

He wanted to talk to Nami, ask her about her two years, ask her how she spent them. Tell her how beautiful she looked. He wanted her to know that he wasn't the same old Luffy anymore, but was finding it hard to do so. Something inside him told him to focus on his dream first. And so he kept mum. Until that day-

* * *

_So, here's a cliff-hanger. I'll make it worth it in the next chapter. In the meantime, do tell me if it's any good or should I just hang up my pen. Negative comments are so welcome. :)_


	2. Continuation

_A/N: Okay, so I received a couple of positive comments on the first chapter and I really appreciate that. I made a spelling mistake which I missed while proof-reading in the previous chapter, 8th paragraph, 25th word; should have been wondered, not wandered._

_I still don't have an idea what is going to happen further so please, bear with me. And a request to everybody who reads this and finds it even remotely interesting, DO REVIEW IT! That's it, off we go._

* * *

The straw-hat pirates had become really strong. Usopp and Chopper could now take down sea-kings, Zorro could easily defeat pirates with more than 200 million beri bounties on their heads. Things were sailing smooth, until Luffy came out to the deck one day and saw Sanji flirting with Nami.

Now, feelings towards a person remain dormant when there is nobody pursuing them, but a guy automatically shifts to territorial mode when he sees someone else going for their prey. And that is exactly what happened with Luffy. Although he couldn't really understand why he felt the need to do so, because he wasn't hungry at the moment, but he shouted out, ''Hey Sanji! Gimme some food will ya? I'm starving!'' And off Sanji went to prepare food for his captain.

His threat neutralized, Luffy went to the front of the Sunny, and sat in his favourite spot. A person looking at him could tell that he was thinking about something. And that's exactly what Nami asked. ''I didn't know you could think Luffy! Maybe these two years have changed you after all!''

''Naah. I'm just sad that I couldn't visit Fishman Island! I mean, seriously, COME ON! It would have been just a small detour! It was an island under the sea for God's sake!'' and off he went rambling, while a large sweat-drop formed on Nami's head, who was now regretting her decision to even ask him about his thoughts.

Yes, things were just good between the straw-hat pirates. Brook was in high spirits, singing all the time. Franky was just, well, SUPER with all his hardware upgrades. Robin was much merrier than before, maintaining her silent personality at the same time. Chopper actually felt good about himself, being able to heal people and also fight better than before. Sanji, glad to have escaped the land of the new-kamas and being with gender-specific people for a change, although still sad for he couldn't visit his dear mermaids. Usopp, busy with his plants. Nami, planning their route ahead, and just enjoying the journey. Zorro, napping like before. And Luffy, the world's most carefree pirate alive. Or that's what everyone thought.

'Why can't I be like before? Why, WHY did I have to lose Ace?' he asked himself repeatedly, although he very well knew the reason why he was asking that to himself. Losing the person closest to you makes even the world's most carefree person have a different perspective about life. It makes you wanna sit up and take action, and not just rely on the theory 'everything will be just fine.' Luffy knew that he had developed feelings for Nami, and he knew the consequences of letting that get out. The straw-hats were an exceptional crew, and it could be attributed to two things; their own dreams and the strong willed ambition of their captain. If they knew that the captain was losing his original focus of being the pirate king, how long could they survive in the New world?

And for the sake of his nakama, for the sake of his deceased brother, who he made a promise to, for the sake of his promise to Shanks, he decided to sidetrack his feelings for the moment. After all, that's what a captain is supposed to do right? It wasn't about himself anymore, it was about everybody who believed in him. Little did he know that someone had noticed the slightest of change in his behaviour and was trying to put two and two together.

And they finally arrived on an island. People started their usual routine, that is, Usopp developing 'I-Can't-Get-On-This-Island' fever and Luffy going off to explore on his own. The island was a lot like Little Garden. Except that instead of the things being just huge, they are weird as well. Weird in the sense, that they had plants and rock formations like never seen before. Of-course, that didn't surprise the straw-hats anymore. And just as Luffy was trying to eat a weird looking mushroom, a voice spoke up, ''Hey Luffy, wanna talk?''

Turning back, he saw someone he didn't expect to be there. His rubber body turned cold, and he dropped the mushroom from his hands.

* * *

_So, what do ya think? Interesting enough? I feel the need for cliff-hangers because I think if I don't include them, people might try and predict and then lose interest and stop reading. Yes, I AM AN INSECURE FICTION WRITER! As always, please tell me what you think if you read it and yes, flames are welcome. :) Enjoy!_


	3. Delusional

_A/N: My chapters are rather short aren't they? I just realized this. I'll try to make the upcoming ones longer. And I really appreciate the reviews. Thank you. :)_

* * *

"A-Ace?"

"Yes Luffy?"

'This can't possibly be happening. I must have eaten a stupid hallucination mushroom or something,' thought Luffy. And then remembered that he hadn't eaten anything at all.

"Is it really you?"

"Of course not. I'm dead stupid!"

"THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ALL ALIVE AND SHIT?"

"Oi lil bro, I just told you I'm dead! What does that tell you?"

"That you're not real?"

"Of course not!"

"Wait a minute, I've heard stories about this kinda stuff. Am I…am I imagining you?"

"You'll know the answer to that."

"This is retarded. I can't be having a conversation with myself. Bleah," and he stuck out his rubber tongue further than any normal human being could.

"Stick that tongue inside!"

"Nope. I'm imagining you right? Does that mean I can make you do anything?"

"Nooo…whaaaaa…?"

"Cool. Now you look like meat!"

Yes, Luffy had matured over the gap of two years. He had matured as an adult human being. But who are we talking about here? He's Luffy after all!

"Wait, I didn't want to imagine you. So why are you here? What are you doing? Am I going mad?"

"Listen up Luffy, it wasn't your fault I died. It was supposed to be me who had to protect you. Not the other way round. There was no way you could have beaten the entire force of Marines all by yourself."

"Shut up! We made a promise! How could you call me your little brother when you went ahead and broke that promise after getting stupidly getting captured by the marines?"

"You don't have to show me tough love Luffy. Not after I've died. And more importantly, that's not the reason I'm here."

"Whatever Ace….are you just going to turn up randomly like this from now on?"

"SHUT UP YOU MORON! AND LISTEN TO ME! I want you to forgive yourself. Let it go. Let it go and live your life as well as fulfill your dream."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if you were feeling uncomfortable with yourself for some reason, wouldn't that explain why your sub-conscious decided to make me appear in front of you now?"

"You mean…N..Nami?"

"No, I mean Robin. OF COURSE I MEAN NAMI BAKA!"

"I..I can't do that Ace."

"Listen Luffy…"

"No, you listen. Things have changed haven't they? It's been two years since you died. Why didn't I think of making you appear then? Because I couldn't forgive myself? No. I accepted the fact and trained myself accordingly. I know that I didn't stand a chance against them. But if I felt the need to console myself this way by calling you, then I would have done so long ago. Being with Nami again, various things have been fighting inside my brain to come up with reasons why I can't be with her. And you are one of them."

"You really have grown haven't you?"

"Not having you to watch over my head forced me to," and he smiled. Ace responded with another smile.

"Anyway, I feel sorry for you nevertheless. Look at you! Pathetically attempting to overcome your sub-consciousness with reasons given out by your conscious mind. I think you really are going mad Luffy!"

"It's sad it didn't work out. But it's reassuring to see that you're there for me even after you died Ace. Thank you."

"Baka, it's you who bought me back. Not the other way round! Take care brother."

And Ace vanished just like he appeared.

Luffy sat down to think, squishing the mushroom that fell from his hands in the process. His mind no longer was a busy junction of thoughts. It was clear now. He smiled, unconsciously making circles in the ground with his finger.

A straw-hat pirate was watching him. You'd think Luffy could sense the presence of another person using his haki. He could. But not of a single body part. The ear and eye swiftly retracted onto the tree branch from which they were protruding. 'Just as I suspected,' thought Robin, 'our captain has fallen in love!' Robin, being 11 years older than him, and training with his father for two years, thought she should go out and help him. But then realized immediately that her words will have almost negligible effect on him since his own sub-conscious wasn't able to persuade him. And she decided she should actually plan something out first. And off she went into the forest in another direction.

That evening everybody gathered back at the Sunny, except for Usopp and Brook, who never left in the first place. Zorro would have remained lost if Nami hadn't found him going deeper inside. Enjoying Sanji's food, everybody was happy. Well, almost everybody. Luffy was sitting on top of the figure-head of the Sunny, looking out into the sea.

"Hey captain! Come and be SUPER like the rest of us!" you can guess who said that. :p

"I just saw a super giant fish out here! Bigger than moo-moo! No..wait…bigger than the Kraken! I'm waiting for it to reappear so that we can have it for breakfast tomorrow!"

But Franky wasn't even listening anymore. And Robin knew he was lying. Seeing what she saw today made her sure that Luffy was very adamant. And he sure wasn't going to do anything. She would have to tackle the problem from the other end. And that meant some girl-to-girl talk.

Luffy pondered over the day's events. Arriving at the first island in the New World, having a talk with his brother, a pretty crazy one that is. He was amazed that his feelings towards her were so strong that he actually felt that he needed to hear it from his deceased brother to go ahead and that it was alright. What made him even more surprised was that despite that, he didn't wanna listen. He had promises to keep, journeys to complete, dreams which he had to make come true. He didn't wanna, or more precisely, couldn't, let a trivial thing like love get in the way. And he stopped.

'Do I really love Nami?'

He was about to find out the answer soon enough.

* * *

_Well, that's done! The third chapter! Hope it was good enough (and was longer too, right?) Do tell me how it is! Speaking of reviews, I've had over 500 views of this fic and only 6 reviews! That's bad. Real bad. -_-_


	4. Reminiscence

_A/N: I had originally intended this to be a fiction with insights from only Luffy's POV. But reading some reviews, I decided to get inside Nami's head as well. :) Oh, and Luffy hasn't strayed away from his dream. His wish of becoming the Pirate King is even stronger now! On with it then-_

* * *

"You can't be serious."

"That would create a paradox seeing as I AM serious."

Robin's words took some time to sink in. A couple of days earlier Robin had entered her cabin and asked her to follow Luffy's behaviour for a few days. And although she thought it was weird, she decided to do so anyway. And she noticed strange stuff. And now Robin just told her that Luffy was in love with her. Things just became weird for Nami.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Luffy wants to become the pirate king Nami, and he's not going to let anything come in his way. Even if it means suppressing his feelings towards you. And I think it would help him in his journey if he actually found solace in love."

"I'll think about it. Its just..this is…umm….its a very…unusual situation…yes…that's what it is. An unusual situation. I need to think."

"I hope you will. Luffy's a pretty good guy," Robin winked and walked out of her cabin.

Nami lay down and stared at the ceiling. She caressed the tattoo of the pinwheel and orange on her left shoulder. And her mind went back to the day she got it. Luffy had come back for her. He risked his life and fought off a super merman Arlong because he made her cry. Even though she betrayed them and took away all their treasure. Why? "Because you're my nakama, that's why!" he told her later on with a mouth full of meat celebrating after the fall of Arlong Park.

She didn't know it but had developed a soft corner for Luffy since then. And feelings grew. But she consoled herself after the Enies Lobby incident that Luffy would have done that for any of his nakama and not only her. But that didn't stop her feelings towards him. Life had been tough for her since the very beginning. And Luffy was a man who bought back a smile on her lips and happiness in her existence. He was special to her.

And now, she just came to know that Luffy shared those feelings! And then she was confused.

'What should I do? Should I go and talk it out with him? That's stupid…I'm not negotiating something that I have to talk it out…bleah. Should I go and discuss this with Robin? Maybe not right now…I should figure out something myself,' words seemed like useless noise in her head. Unable to figure anything out, she lay there blankly, staring at the ceiling. And then remembered that they were on the New World and she should probably go and check the currents and the weather if they wanted to survive here.

Everything seemed fine. Sanji and Luffy were fishing, Zorro was sleeping and others were just doing random stuff not worth mentioning. Robin noticed that she had come out and was standing at the railing looking out at the sea. And something came to her mind.

Two hands grew out of the deck just behind Nami, grabbed her legs and flipped her overboard. Funny thing is, within a couple of seconds she was back, still trying to grasp what happened.

"Nami! What happened? Are you okay?" Luffy was standing beside her and asking.

She gulped and looked at a distance to see Robin smiling. And then shot her a death glare. "I'm okay…I guessed I slipped or something."

"You gotta be more careful; we can't do anything without a navigator!" was what Luffy replied. Sanji was looking up at the sky and thanking the sea Gods for saving Nami, rivers or tears flowing through his cheeks. And then shouted out, "BAKA! YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME SAVE HER!"

As Nami fell, Luffy had noticed that in an instant and stretched halfway across the ship to catch her before she hit the water. "Well, I'm faster than you. So…bleah," and he said hanging out his tongue.

Here Nami was surprised, because she thought that Luffy was busy fishing and wouldn't notice that she's come out and was standing on the other side of the ship, let alone catch her this fast. She was elated. Its true that Sanji was always fussing over her and so did many men, but Luffy made her feel actually special every time! She was content.

"I could have been dead by now."

"But you aren't, are you?"

"That's because he saved me when you tried to kill me Robin!"

"That was the point wasn't it?"

"You flip one of your crew-mates over a point?"

"Oh chill out, its not like you were even in any real danger to begin with!"

"I would have killed you if I was. True story."

Robin and Nami were in Robin's cabin after dinner that night. "I forgot what I came here for….should I tell Luffy that I have feelings for him too?"

"Do you?"

"Are you supposed to know that before he knows it himself?"

"Well yes, seeing that if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be knowing it either. Its only fair isn't it?"

"Yes…yes I do. I did since the very time he fought for me and saved the thing I was working for my entire life."

"Then go and tell him that!"

"But, how will he react to that? What if he actually decides to blow me off because I'd be just a distraction in the way of his dream?" Nami, after all, was a girl.

"You can only find that out by telling him. I cannot possibly simulate the course of the conversation you know."

"You're of no help. I was just asking for some advice. If he doesn't reciprocate, things are going to become very, very weird between us. That's a fact."

"They might. Or they might not. Speculations are pretty much useless at this point Nami."

"I guess you're right. There is no risk free solution to this problem however I look at it."

"Are you sure this is a problem? You have had feelings for him from so long, this is more like an opportunity!"

Nami smiled as she went back to her cabin. Luffy was keeping watch that night. Seeing him on her way back, she stopped. Unsure of what she was doing, she went up to him.

"Heya Luffy!"

* * *

_And this is where this chapter ends. I'm a pathetic writer. People tell me that this story is good, but seriously? I started out as something promising…and this is turning out to be a sloppy romance. I really should have thought this out. Oh well, do tell me what you think. As always, flames are welcome too! :)_


End file.
